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I.R.BADBOYZ - I am not a big fan of the press... press that print bull ass crap that is... and a good example would be Singapore's very own ' The New Paper'... ( i know the picture above refers to the electric new paper... but still... i don't think it viable to put any more effort into this article) ... There was even a point where they actually put at the side of their news papers "Singapore's No. 1 tabloid"... WHAT THE!!!... are they proud of typing bullshit?... or maybe they misunderstood the meaning of the word 'tabloid'... oh... but that's okay... considering all of the writers and journalists there supposedly have good qualifications when it comes to the English Vocabulary...
I know that we live in a country where something interesting almost never happens... but still... that should not excuse these retards from always exaggerating their stories all of the time... I still remember that there was a case in Little India about a guy carrying a knife and I had a friend of mine who was there and confirmed that it was just a small knife... but that did not stop those idiotic excuses for journalists to exaggerate the knife to become a Parang ( which is long blade knife used for cutting vegetation and people... )
I know that it is very convenient to carry 'The New Paper' around as opposed to other newspapers available... but at what price?... Every time you read it you will definitely drop down an I.Q. point... And to prove my point... just try to have an intelligent conversation with a person who carries a piece of 'The New Paper' around... just try it...
Anyways... to be fair... there are other uses for this news paper that i have listed as follow:
1) Find out soccer match scores ( for those who don't have TV or internet )
2) To find the best Massage Parlours in Singapore with "Special" services.
3) Good substitute for when you run out of toilet paper.
4) Protect your house floor from getting paint all over it when repainting your house.
5) For pet owners to pick up after their pet's dropping with.
And many other useful stuff... be creative...
Moral of the story: The New Paper is not a really good substitute for toilet paper... So to whoever is in charge of this abominable newspaper company... do us all a favour and go play in traffic...
2 comments:
I wanted to congratulate on remembering the topic we spoke at LJS. But then you forgot to put ure name at the beginning of the article... Haiz...
People will still keep reading The New Paper because:
1. The size is accomodating. Especially for short people. And let's face it, would you read The Straits Times on a crowded train? Unless, the person is ugly, then reading a paper that big is doing the rest of humanity a huge favour.
2. Where else would you get laugh-out-loud articles? Singapore is known for its high-stress levels and sometimes the shallow nature of the articles are bound to put your intelligence and stress at ease with a little bit of laughter.
3. Do not fret. Your IQ will not drop. In fact, articles in The New Paper do provide intellectual discourse at the dinner table. Of course, it will involve having to digress. alot.
4. ok i'm really too lazy to think of another reason. It's 70cents. Beats looking aimlessly at expression-less people on the morning train to work.
yes, i am this bored at work.
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