Brazil vs Singapore Football Joke

ReD_eYe - It is just before Singapore v Brazil on Monday. Ronaldinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks. "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know there’s a full house and everyone’s expecting a show but it's only Singapore. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered". Ronaldinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub." So Ronaldinho goes out to play Singapore by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - Singapore 0 (Ronaldinho 10minutes)". He is beating Singapore all by himself! Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on. "Result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) – Singapore 1 (Indra 89 minutes)". They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Singapore!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down." "Don't be daft, you got a draw against Singapore, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!" "No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes"
GENIUS!

Why i refer to women as 'crazy people'...

I.R.BADBOYZ:- You know, i'm not a sexist person. But there comes a time when i do think that when God created women, he probably has no idea what he was doing. Or maybe he does? Who knows. But I have always believed that we men, with our abilities to come up with complex stuff like computers and binary codes and what not, have always been unable to understand the female psyche. And for that valid reason, i call women 'Crazy people'. And believe you me ladies, from where we guys are standing, and if you were in our shoes, you would definitely understand.
I actually came across a book. And it was actually written by a female author for men to better understand women that is. And it had these equations as examples to how men and women react to different situations. And here's my version of it.

A man's thoughts...

1) Damn i'm hungry. Hey it's dinnertime already?
2) Maybe i'll eat some Mee Goreng, plus they'll be playing the soccer game on TV, so i can watch the game as well.
3) Let's go to Simpang Bedok.

Equation is:- 1 + 2 = 3
Simple, yes?

A female's thoughts...

1) I'm hungry. It's dinnertime isn't it?
2) I wonder if i go out to eat too much? Or maybe not enough? Have i paid my phone bill yet? Why does my boyfriend want to go to Simpang Bedok... That place reminds me of my ex's... Plus there was that incident with my Hair. That was awful. Maybe i should wash my hair before i go out? Why do guys like to eat so late? The food is nice... but it is so oily and fattening, plus it gives me gas. And that can be so embarrasing...
3) I can't go to dinner. I'm really overwhelmed. Why can't my boyfriend understand.

Equation is:- 1 + 2 X L(!!) + COS(y) / Tan(3.142) - Sin(t) = 3

I call it. Crazy people math.
i am so bored.

Moral of the story: Even though it is hard to learn and understand. But Mathematics is essential for use in everyday life. And it is of the utmost importance that we should learn it and practice it well. For we never know when we may need to use it.

I'm an asshole..need i say more?

Crap_-_.. ok folks..been MIA for awhile..well..guess what..i'm back! ANyway..came across this blog site. www.twistedpersonas.blogspot.com. Hmm what does the title of this entry gotta do with this ?? well..i'm an asshole..so..i'm gonna leave some rather unflattering remarks.

So..wat's this site about? it's another blog by another 'blogger'. Why am i gonna crap about it? ..BECAUSE i think he's gay. Read the posts..which guy in his right mind would call himself a "bitch"..oh..u like that huh? bitch.. and.. why does he mention something about finding himself a boyfriend. I dun even wanna mention about the stuff that's written..simply GAY.. well. the word "gay" also means happy..however this dude seems to be a bitchy sad homesexual..so we shud use call him BSH instead..becos he doesn;t seem gayishly gay at all.

Anyway.. there are thousands of dudes out there who blog like this.. about how everything's wrong with their lives. how the world seems so unfair. how they are pussies who can't just shutup .. PEOPLE.. wake UP!.. crying about all this emotional garbage makes u seem like a sensitive guy?? nope..just means u're a sad sad useless piece of crap. Yeah..i know there's probably someone who reads this post who's gonna say "omg..wat an insensitive piece of crap".Well u are right..CRap is insensitive..i mean..have u tried talking about ur feelings to ur own pieces of crap u make ?? Does the CRAP reply u and counsel u?

I remember a time not so long ago when people wrote about their feelings..especially their more negative emotions in a diary..have u people forgotten how to do that? get a pen..and a stupid notebook..and write ur all your "emotionally charged garbage" in it..and spare us from reading it online. People dun really care about how sad u are..or how gayishly gay u are.. spending time writing crap about how the world is unfair makes u look lame.. No one will really sympathise with u..especially if u are guys.. SO stop letting people know u are wussies and maybe u might actually get laid with a chick someday.

Well..thats my rants for today..Adios people..and i know u dun really care wat i write about anyway..so go blame the world for ur lack of concern but please write it down somewhere which no one else can see..like inside ur A hole or something..

Olympolitcis?

Crap_-_ Ok folks..this topic is a breakaway from the usual crap i normally offload here..it;s got to do with the OLympics..
Wat exactly is it? for those of you who have been living under a rock ..it's this major global sporting event that held once every few years.how many exactly i never bothered to count..never really followed it..and probably never will. Why den am i writing on it? Read on to find out.
Well a brief history on the Olympic games... In ancient greece, men from all over the country would come to compete for fame, glory and all that bullcrap..how u actually gain fame from dashing along a mud track in the fastest amount of time..i will never understand. And oh yeah..they competed in the nude..how homo can it get. Anyway..in modern times..the atheletes no longer run around in the buff..thank goodness, can u imagine a bunch of guys running around the national stadium in the buff during the 100m hurdles..it's sooo wrong.
Ok..so this year it;s gonna be held in beijing, china. Well..and if u actually do watch tv or read the news..you'll know by now that there;'s been a crap load of protests from people about it being held in china. What i do not understand is the reason they use for protesting. One of the reasons is that China is a serious offender of human rights..they apparently beat people with metal spikes there for staring or something as these protesters believe..wow.. Alright..i;m gonna say this only once.. I do not know if they really do it like that there, but what i know is.. u can get whacked with a ten foot metal spiked poke anywhere u go, anywhere between Antartica and the North pole. So anyway..these protesters go..hey! let's boycott the olympics by head butting the torch bearers when they run thru our country.
So i guess harressing torch bearers on wheel chairs is very ethical eh..u know what incident i;m refering to..u dumb wankers.. Oh yeah.. and chasing torch bearers across half your cities is too right?? I can see your're only trying to help them run faster...amazing behaviour by these folks who call themselves human rights activists.. I hope u get a plane stuck up ur asses soon.
The Olympics is all about sports.. Nothing more.. I'm not gonna delve into the political reasons i believe are really behind all this nonsense because i believe politics and sports shud never be mixed together.. and IF China really had so many human rights violations with so many people dying all over the country..explain why it is the most populous nation in the world today..
I say..do not boycott the olympics, whether it;s held in IRaq or Afghanistan or whatever.. Leave the sports to the sportsmen..and for those of u atheletes who are boycotting the games for one reason or another..SHAME ON YOU.. just admit u are not taking part because u know you can;t win and stop hiding behind all these stupid protesters. For those of you who are taking part and who support the olympics....thou i dun think i;ll be watching it much if at all.. I salute u and wish u all the best.. just try not to do run around naked.. unless you're a hot swimmer or gymnast in the women's team.. :)`

Things that piss me off... Volume... umm...

I.R.BADBOYZ - Now don't alarm yourself. I'm not advertising or promoting anything on this site. Unless I am paid to do so. Actually... It's quite the contrary.... And it does has a lot to do with this company called 'Courts'. Don't worry... i'm not trying to get sued... since all the facts that i'm going to list down are real and true...
The reason I am writing this article is because I got really sick and tired of people telling me how wonderful this so-called Furniture Mall is... How their prices and promotions make it easier for people on the lower side of the income scale... Hmm... let's see how true that is shall we...
Look at the price of this LCD tv above. Bear in mind it's a promotional price. And even so... the price of the "Branded" 42 inch LCD TV is still not any lower than any non-promotional properly "branded" LCD TV. But that's OK... some would say that they have to keep their prices high cos usually they have to break these prices down into installments... yeah... sure... Now take out your calculator... and multiply that S$22.27 weekly over 48 months and see what you get. And for those not really good at maths... Here's the formula:-
Payment of S$22.27 weekly which would mean a monthly payment of S@22.27 X 4.
Multiply that a further 48 times.
So its... 22.27 X 4 X 48.

Now look at the number you got. And compare it with the original price of S$2699/-.
Some would say... "OK what!... Got interest mah". Well okay then. For an item that is not completely yours until 4 years later... you would assume that your warranty would last you as long... Uhuh... Nope. Most of these warranties are 1 maybe 2 years tops. And if you want to extend it... you have to pay hefty amounts to do so... And that's not all... Here's the best part... their customer service...
Here's how it goes... If you were late for even an installment payment by a week to a month ( this varies by individual ) they will call you and ask you to make the payment as soon as possible. That sounds OK still. But imagine the call going like this." Excuse me Sir/Mdm. Make your payment by tomorrow OK." So you say OK. And slam the phone is put down. No 'please'... or 'Maybe you have overlooked your payment". Imagine 3 years down the road. Your product no longer works... Your warranty is expired... And you're still paying $22.27/- weekly for nothing whatsoever... And one day you decide... To hell with all of this. I'm not paying anymore. Now here's where the fun starts. First they harrass you by calling you. Send you letters from their 'lawyers'. After which 'Debt collectors' they hired start calling you to no end. And visit your house and harrass you. And finally. They take civil action against you over maybe a measily sum of $400/- to $500/- that you have left to pay.
Most people would think... No lah. They wont sue you or take you to court for that small a sum. Plus they have to pay money to their lawyers and what not. But what you don't know is... in one of the clauses in the agreement you signed when purchasing their product, it states that all the legal costs will be incurred by the customer as well... hahaha... and that's when you know you have been screwed...


Moral of the story: Please people... stop telling me that Courts is a wonderful place to buy your stuff at... there are a bunch of testimonials that i can show you from people i know that will prove otherwise... And COURTS... if you are reading this and are not happy about it... THEN WHY DONT YOU SUE ME!!!... COME ON!!! DO IT!!! COS IF YOU DO!!! I'LL MAKE SURE THAT EVERYONE HEARS ABOUT IT AND BOYCOTT YOUR WHOLE COMPANY!!! THEN SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO YOU OPPRESSING, CONNIVING, IMMORAL EXCUSE OF A WANNABE MULTI NATIONAL COMPANY!!!...

Updates, Updates, Updates... (think of the song "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps")

ReD_eYe - Hello everyone! It’s been awhile and I think I'm long overdue to write something here.

Firstly, we have to give I.R.BADBOYZ a lot of credit since he is the only one keeping this website alive. Thanks to him, his ability to do mind-taking and his tremendous amount of free time, he has managed to conjure up some great articles that has made this website fresh and popular among the masses. Thank you Minge! (said in Gary’s voice)

CRap is busy trying to keep his sanity in that insane school of his. Think of it this way; imagine CRap as Will Smith in I Am Legend, where Crap is the only sane man and alive in New York City. Keeping sane nowadays is very hard work, so please understand if you do not see his posts very often.

As for me, I am very busy with my day job. I know it’s not a good excuse but business has been good lately and a lot of things need to be done to keep all of my company's transactions moving smoothly. In fact due to work, I have no free time even for myself. Well I think that's how working life is like I guess. However, do not fret! I shall do my best to make way an hour or two to do an article per month!

Okay, introductions aside, here are some serious matters I have to let you guys know. We are currently on the verge of doing some great things for the website. Yay! Expect more videos made by us and also we are printing NeeD3HeaD T-shirts. These T-shirts will soon be available and is for sale for the public. As for when the T-shirts will be out is too soon to say but expect it to happen in the coming months. We will even post some article describing about our T-shirts making process so watch this space if you are interested.

Finally, we have to say thank you very much to the readers and fans (if any) that had spent or sacrificed their free time just to read our articles. Special thanks to the people that gave a little more attention to us by writing comments and also our tag board. Your positive and negative statements are the main driving force to make articles and kept us going. Not forgetting our friends and family for their love and support for us. And of course last and certainly not the least, GOD, for creating and inspire us so we can create NeeD3HeaD.

C-String... the unedited version

I.R.BADBOYZ - Hey there... I know it's been a while since we've put up any sort of video in this blog. So i decided to give all of you a treat. It's a video i made. Well, actually... It's a video i subbed. And in a way it's related to the old topic where i was discussing about the C-String. Well whatever.. just watch it and hope you enjoy it...

Yeah i know it's kinda hard to read... It was my first time doing it... I'll try to improve the next time. If i can be bothered that is.

Will the idiocy ever end... yeah i know idiocy is not a word...

I.R.BADBOYZ :- Sorry for the long dry spell. Not that I did not have anything to blog about... I just could not have been bothered... But one incident happened these past few days that deserved an opinion from myself.. I believe by now some of you might recognize the infamous name... Andrew Teo.

Apparently Singapore is using the year 2008 to utterly embarrass themselves on a global scale... why you ask? First we prove to the world that our Air-tight security status was based on absolutely nothing... and now... Well it seems we can't seem to hold a proper 'heated' arguement in English...
What happened was, A taxi driver was called via booking and parked along the roadside in front of Mediacorp's office or something... However the taxi driver had stopped on the wrong side of the road... actually it was not even a road... more like a two way lane. And one pissed off staff namely Mr Andrew Teo came out... and came all over the taxi driver ( okay... sorry... this part was made up). Actually The Teotious man ( 'Teo' sounds like the word 'Right or Correct' in chinese.... so i thought... teotious might mean righteous...) went out and took it upon himself to make this taxi driver understand that what he was doing was wrong. And Of course all the taxi driver did is considered a minor traffic offense... but the Teotious man felt that using vulgarities on him was the right thing to do... and after capturing the whole thing on video via his mobile phone... The Teotious bastard... oh sorry... i meant to say... The Teotious man went and uploaded the video on youtube. Believing that Singaporeans would worship him like how ancient Greeks worshipped Zeus for the so-called 'Act of Heroism'... And after receiving tons of hate comments for what he did, the Teo-Man removed the video and his youtube account profile to avoid further embarrassment to himself... the video is still on youtube... under the label of "Cab Driver and Civillian Scolding *fuck* off"... how very original... even misspelled civilian...

Moral of the story: Singapore... come on... please... before posting anything on youtube... seek a second... or even third opinion from a stranger about whether what you have caught on video might or might not put our country to shame... Now we look like a country that lacks 2% in both Security Capability and To converse heatedly in English... sigh...

New Terms of Description

Crap_-_ Hi folks...been awhile since i actually put anything up . Ok some of you folks may not believe this but singaporeans are always coming up with new phrases and words to describe situations/people/characteristics etc. I made one such phrase myself. Those of you who are familiar with me may already have guessed it. Its called " Pulling a Cheeguan".

The term 'pulling a cheeguan' was coined in honor of a very good fren of mine who loves to perform this stunt all the time. No prizes for figuring out who this friend is..and if u are this good friend of mine be happy i;m featuring u on the blog..
Anyway this saying of 'pulling a cheeguan' is actually quite a common characteristic of people. Everyone pulls a cheeguan once awhile. YES YOU ALL DO. Even i do it occasionally. However i made this term in honor of this buddy because he seems to be the most frequent user of this behaviour.
Now let me explain what it means

Pulling a Cheeguan : Defination- To make plans with someone and than not showing up, not informing and doing a disappearing act similiar to David Blaine/David Copperfield/Cris Angel, while the party who's waiting for you has already set time up to meet you.
Example : Mr X says: " Eh Bro, Tonight meet up for dinner at 8pm ok? Confirm coming lah, i will meet u, dun make other plans hor"... (at 8pm, u call and Mr X and he doesn't picks up. You worried some dogs raped his ass so u keep calling. At 9pm still uncontactable but phone rings. At 10pm if you;re lucky here's how it goes) Mr X:" eh..i at home le. Tired lah.."(if you're unlucky it might take u a week b4 he gets back to you.) Normally at this moment you will be going "$@^$#!^$#%@!#@!# "
Example of usage : "eh bro, tonite going to visit donny at the hospital, he might die
anytime..don't go pulling a cheeguan now"
"!@$@#%@, John pulled a Cheeguan on me again and left me waiting at
home hungry after i turned downed a hot date because i thought we were
bros..wasn't it Bros b4 Hoes? "

Nice terms to use in your everyday life. Go ahead and try it out. :)

JI fugivitive has more people concerned about security

I.R.BADBOYZ: - Actually this title i wrote above is from an online news article by the good people of Channel News Asia... I would advice you to read this article first if you want to have any chance at all at understanding what I am blabbering about today...

Here's the link :- http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20080327/tap-337508-231650b.html
(hopefully the link works... i did'nt bother to test it out...)

Anyways... in this article they went around taking polls from 15 year old students all around Singapore (Cos everyone else would just ignore them as they would an Apek selling tissue packets outside the MRT stations around Singapore)... The polls were with close regards to the topic of our latest criminal celebrity Mr Mas Selamat... And the article also had various inputs from our country's so-called "top-minds" and "influential" people... here's a quote from the article:-
" But others seem disheartened by the fact that a month has already gone by. Singapore is too small a place for someone to evade detection for so long, said finance analyst Nazirah Akhtar, 27. And many find it hard to believe Mas Selamat could have survived in a forested area for so long. Said IT consultant Loh Guopei, 27, "What has he been living on? Coconuts?" "...

I don't know whether you all know this but... Apparently our country is being run by 27 year olds... especially those in the Finance and IT sector no doubt... I mean Really!!? What... why... who are these people...? First and foremost we have Miss Nazirah Akhtar, a financial analyst, who believes that after watching the first two seasons of prison break, she is an expert of the matter... And then we have Mr Loh Guopei, our IT guy who I can safely bet is a packing a bit more weight around his weight than most... Cos he believes that a person cannot survive a day if they do not eat at Burger King for breakfast, dinner and lunch...

I'm not even going to bother to write a 'moral of the story' for this post... Cos seriously... to Miss Nazirah Akhtar and Mr Loh Guopei... Here's some constructive criticism for you guys... Fuck you...