Horoscope time people. Gather around...

I.R.BADBOYZ : I wanted to try it once... to write out my own specialized set of horoscope readings... Actually what i did was to take a chunk from usual horoscope meanings and added a bit of truth to them... And don't be frightened at how accurate they are... It's a gift really...

Aquarius
You are extremely creative and make your way to the top fast. Which means you are a lying bastard. And everybody knows it because of all the bullshit that comes out of your mouth are hardly believable. Because of this, people think you are stupid and sort of a jerk. You should probably stick your shit back up your ass.

Taurus
You are very straightforward and have never-say-die attitude. But it is due to the fact that you never get anything done right the first time and have had a lot of practice to develop that attitude of yours. As such, you grow up to become extremely stubborn and thick-skinned. You know that hole that all humans have where shit comes out from... that is you. That you definitely are.

Leo
You are perceived as a Leader, a born leader. Or at least that's what you think. Cos people know that you're a retard. Because most Leo's turn out to be bullies who are indeed very vain and don't take too kindly to criticism. Your arrogance is unrivaled and all of you are thieving dip shits. And lastly, Leo's tend to enjoy masturbation over sex and are gay for doing so.

Sagittarius
You are extremely upbeat and think very positively. And since most of you do not have any real talent, you tend to get by in life by relying on pure ass dumb luck. You are indeed a worthless piece of crap. Sorry.

Pisces
You have a vivid imagination and often tend to dabble in the realm of the unknown. Which means that you are actually kind of a crazy person. You tend to have very minor influences among friends. So you're basically harmless. You lack true confidence and have bad body odour.

Gemini
Its not surprising that most twins born are Geminis. And if you are not a twin, then there are two possibilities. Either your other twin died at birth or... you were adopted. So... if you're adopted then i am afraid you have to find out your real birthday then and read my horoscopes again.

Virgo
You are the very perfectionist and law abiding type. You have no soul for you do not really have the capability to care for another person. You probably think sex is a chore and often fall asleep while doing it. You would make a great pimp. Or a ruler in some third world country.

Scorpio
Scorpio's are the worst. You are the sort that would step and stab your way to the top. You lack any sort of ethics whatsoever. Due to this you are technically perfect as you would most probably become rich. However you will die young because Scorpio's are usually murdered.

Aries
You are the idea man. Which means that you are the inventor type cos you think up new stuff all the time. And you think everybody else is a dumb ass. You love to ridicule and talk down to people and piss everyone off. Basically, you are a prick.

Cancer
People know Cancers for being sympathetic and understanding to other's problems. And you are often seen as a nosey piece of shit as well. Which you are by the way. You love to procrastinate which means that you live on welfare and are'nt worth more than that piece of shit stuck to your shoe. Everybody in prison is a Cancer. For those who are not in prison, you'll die of cancer most likely. How Ironic.

Libra
You are the artsy-fartsy kind and are often not appreciated in your time. Most Libra males are gay and Women sluts. And all of you have at least one kind of a sexually transmitted disease. And the only way for you to be remembered in history is to be the first person ever to die from herpes.

Capricorn
You keep to yourself a lot and you're basically afraid of taking any sort of risks.Capricorns have never yet made any real difference to the world. Mostly because they are all donkey-raping-shit-eating cowards.You probably should kill yourself.


Hope you enjoyed that bitter sweet taste i like to call 'THE TRUTH'... and oh yes... i hate you all...