I'm sorry... Actually I don't really care...

I.R.BADBOYZ - Well... Hi... Sorry for the delay... Was busy saving the world... I was hospitalised... Kind of... And try not to hurt your head wondering what i'm talking about... it's an inside joke...

Anyways... It seems in the time that I have been gone... the two other douche bags namely ReD_eYe and Crap did not seem to contribute much... but then again... they are douche bags... but i love them all the same... And since my head is still kind of in a twirl and what not... i'll leave something here for your entertainment...

Basically these are excerpts from a real book called "Disorder in the American Courts" and
about things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters... so enjoy...

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do .
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
DOCTOR: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?!
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
DOCTOR: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
DOCTOR: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
DOCTOR: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
DOCTOR: No
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
DOCTOR: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
DOCTOR: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
DOCTOR: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar!
ATTORNEY: I see, but could t he patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
DOCTOR: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and pracitising law.

Yeah I know it's lame... cos you probably read it somewhere... but thought i'd share it nonetheless... since it's Christmas... i think... i don't know... how long was I in the hospital?...
Watch out soon for some threads that are definitely more interesting than this... now that i'm back...